the after 30 part...

It's that time of year again. A chance to pledge to the world all the things in your life you want to change, do, or overcome. Some see it as any other day, other's welcome it for a chance to forget the past and start over. I see it as a day of reflection. How was I changed in 2011? Do I have any regrets? Was I happy? What was my favorite moment and why? Who did I meet and what did I learn from them? I put all my discoveries, my tools, my learning experiences in my pocket for safe keeping and walk into 2012, prepared and ready to keep climbing in my own personal voyage of life. I make resolutions every year. Sometimes I follow through, and other times I just get too busy and forget my focus. In the last two years, I have accomplished three out of the five resolutions that I made each year. This year I climbed a lot stairs instead of taking the elevator, which I might add, is not that easy. I got lost in a lot of buildings! Why do they make stairwells so dark, boring and way ou

I made it!  Day 5 was yesterday and I didn't eat a single solid food for 5 days!  I started out at 142.6 and weighed in at 136.8 today.  I lost 6 lbs in 5 days, detoxed a lot of toxins out of my system and gained energy while doing it.  I put on a pair of jeans that usually fit with a little suck in, and I can now pull them off without unbuttoning them!  This morning, for breakfast, I was surprisingly not that interested in food.  If it weren't for the fact that tonight is my "birthday" party (week early), I feel I could have kept juicing for another five days! Am I still going to juice?  OH YEAH!  I have a juice next to me as I write this, (2 fennel bulbs and 2 pears, soooooooooo yummy!), and I plan on having at least one juice a day for the micro-nutrients that our bodies need! Day 3 and 4, did I mention I broke out?  I broke out as if I was 15 again!.  Zits were popping up every where, and not little ones, but huge ones, with zits under them.  Zits on top of zits.

Day 3 is already here for my 5 day juice fast.  I can't wait for Friday morning to indulge in eggs and toast or maybe I'll even go crazy and go out for breakfast!  So far the juice fast is going great.  I haven't killed anyone yet, bit off anyone's head, slammed my car into someone due to road rage or broken down and cried like a little baby.  But then again, I haven't been around anyone, or in my car, and too busy with phone calls to try and get a tear in.  Day 1, I weighed in at 142.  I started a bit late, due to the fact that I hadn't bought the produce yet, and started just after noon.  I had juiced 4 recipes that day.  The nice thing about these recipes is some will yield up to 4 glasses of juice.  I felt like I was sipping on juice every minute!  The "green" juices aren't my favorite.  I hate celery.  I think I might just cut celery completely out of these recipes as I only taste the celery, bleck!  Coconut water helps though.... I just top

How many fruits and vegetable servings are you eating a day?  For me, it's possibly two servings of fruit a day and maybe 4 servings of veggies a week (and usually steamed so there goes most of the nutrients!)  After watching the documentary,  Fat Sick and Nearly Dead  I decided that I needed to "reboot" .  Joe, the now very good looking (not so good looking before) Australian, drank nothing but juice for 60 days with no hard food and documented it all. 60 DAYS!!  Yes, that is extreme, but as he filmed his process, he inspired many along the way, including me. This last week I researched juicers and decided on the Breville 800 on amazon after reading a million reviews.  It was more than I had planned on spending on a juicer, but I also wanted the best. Today I went to Wholefoods and stocked up.  I wrote down all the recipes that sounded good and started plopping those ingredients into my cart.  I will admit, I was a little overwhelmed shopping.  For one, I didn&

I love October.  I heart October.  I less than three October. The fall colors, red, orange, yellow and brown, the fresh cold air of Autumn, the darker days and even the nasty storms. I love the pumpkins, Halloween, the smells, and warm sweaters. October soothes my soul. It's the time of year when I get to see family again, move to a place I love, travel the world (sometimes), and up my age by a year.  I make sure that everyday in October I do something fun, relaxing, exciting, cause I just LOVE this month!  So to start off October 2011, I ran a 5K.  Here's the part where you think I will tell you that it was awesome, and WOW, I feel amazing... but that would be one big fat LIE.  I got a side ache within the first two minutes, that did not give up, and I struggled the entire way to the finish line, finishing 4 minutes slower than my last 5K two months ago.  But on the happier side, I took 2nd place in the adult women's division. Yeah Me! After the run, Terry, Matt and I wen

This was a thought in my head as I went out on my run today.  A run, might I add, that was not only my second work out for the day, but a work out that I CRAVED!  I actually felt the need to RUN, which I haven't felt since I was 27.  And it was dumping buckets of rain, but I wouldn't let that stop me.  Three weeks into implementing all six steps of the Depression Cure and I'm feeling better than I have in a very long time.  So what am I doing differently and how?  Let me break it down to you again (the 6 steps). Me: 6-7 days a week (I still believe in free days!) I wake up at 7 am to sit in front of my light box (step 4).   I play scrabble, read emails, study Spanish, etc., for at least 30 minutes in front of my exceedingly bright light.  It kind of feels like a UFO is in the room, it's that bright.  Let me note though, that 7 am is like 3 am for most.  7 am is still night time, 7 am is EARLY!  Ask my mother and she will tell you that in high school she used to

When Mariah told me that for her 40th birthday she was going to Haines, staying in a cabin by the water, celebrating by hot tubbing and dancing (not at the same time), with some of her most favorite people, I immediately hoped I was one of those favorite people.  I was.  It was beautiful weather in Haines.  First stop was the Haines brewery for some yummy beer and then to the cabin for a wonderful salmon/halibut dinner from our host, Tom.  He also made a home made carrot cake!  Mariah is such a hoot.  She brought all these wonderful pretty dresses for everyone to wear out dancing.  We danced at the Pioneer Bar to a local band called, Swing Set , and had such a great time!  Have I mentioned how much I love dancing?  Happy 40th Birthday Mariah! Lisa, Marie, Nicholle, Charity, Cindy and Mariah The view.

b e - b o p be cool & be you MANIFESTO Join the Movement! Now is the time for spontaneity . Just be. Just bop . Just scat. Just that. Sure, there's classical rules about how to get it right; but don't be tied to old forms-- hold onto that feeling of floating free. Be a stand for asymmetry . Let it rip. Let it riff. Sing it just like Ella with those kooky , random vocables & syllables and nonsense lyrics without words at all. Just make up the sounds! Be-dah. Dee-dop . Doodly-skid. Ski-dah. Believe in art as improvisation . Hold the flag for the avant-garde. It's a true revolution in the art of jazz and living.  It's you !

Finally, the last step to the Therapeutic Lifestyle Change (TLC) six step program to beat depression without drugs.  Sleep. How is your sleep? Do you toss and turn and struggle to get to sleep at night?  Do you wake up throughout the night, disturbing you from getting the essential slow-wave sleep your body needs?  Do you wake up too early and can't seem to fall back asleep?  Do you have anxiety at night?  Are you tired all day long but then can't sleep at night?  If you said yes to any of the above, then keep reading! Sleep disturbances is one of the major symptoms of depression, but it is also a trigger for the illness. When our bodies are deprived of sleep, even for a night, our memory and concentration wanes, we get more irritable, our judgement is poor (I find that I eat unhealthy food when I'm tired), reaction time slows down, coordination and energy say bye bye and we get sick easier. (194)  Sick as in colds and flu's but also as in depression. Anything we can

As humans, we are not meant to be alone.  We are born to connect.  Even as babies, we cried when we needed touch, or as Dr. Ilardi tells in the book, "...babies instinctively know it's (being alone) a recipe for biological disaster" (163).  If we are left alone for a few days, not only do we feel lonely, but all sorts of negative effects start happening.  "Our stress hormones escalate, mood and energy plummet, and key biological processes quickly fall out of balance" (163/64).  Hundreds of years ago, people ate together, played together, talked together, and lived together.  Today we are living more disconnected than we ever did in our past.  We text, instead of talk, chat online with people we don't even know (which is better than not chatting to anyone at all), stay in doors, eat alone, live alone, sleep alone, and recreate alone.  "Nearly 25% of Americans have no intimate social connections at all, and countless others spend the bulk of their time by

I'm taking a break from the depression blogging because I am getting so behind in all the other fun stuff I'm doing.  Last week we had our 2011 Seasonal party for Skagway Mining Co.  24 of us, (all 11 employees, me and our dates), took a bus up to Fraser, BC to Lake Bernard  for some kayaking.  It was a bit windy that day, and cold, but nothing was going to get in our ways.   Packer Expeditions  provided four awesome tour guides to take us around the lake.  The head wind wasn't as bad as I thought, and when you got into the little coves it was so relaxing and gorgeous.  Canada is so beautiful! Left to Right: Me, Erin Jakubek, Jen Funhauser, MJ Phillips, Teslyn Korsmo, Jon Sey, Sarah Dudley Kristin Moore, Marcos Cruz Diaz, Unknown, Unknown 2 (i'm horrible with names), Jared Foland, Katie Williams Will Dudley, Jason ?, Jene Foland, and Brittany Snell. Guess who?  (No it's not me.) Marcos and the bus driver, who was a very quiet man. Brittany S

Being that I was raised in Alaska, I always knew the importance of light for one's mental health.  Growing up I always heard about Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD, but never once contributed it to my diagnoses of clinical depression.  Did you know that America is less happy and more sluggish in the winter and that the rate of clinical depression goes up?  "An estimated 20% of the population battles the "winter blues", with at least some clinically significant depressive symptoms between November and March" (140). Considering that most Americans work 8-10 hours a day, finding the time to be outside can be a struggle.  Our ancestors spent the majority of the day outside, farming, hunting, gathering, playing, yet I am barely getting an hour a day, and the few minutes I do get outside, it's usually overcast and raining. Why is light so important?  Bright light stimulates the brain's production of serotonin.  It's the neurotransmitter that helps wit

Okay friends, on to step three: Exercise. Everyone knows that exercise is beneficial for our physical health, but many don't realize how equally important it is for our mental health. "Exercise is medicine-one that affects the brain more powerfully than any drug" (117).  The great Dr. Ilardi mentions clinical studies that has even proved that quote, comparing Zoloft with exercise among depressed patients, and the conclusion was that in the long term, the exercisers remained depression-free. I remember I used to love working out.  Even before I lost my weight (when I was 27, I lost 16-20lbs), I used to enjoy exercise on a weekly basis, at least.  Then when I started on my weight loss program, I loved it even more.  I became a machine... running more than I ever thought I could, and even called myself a "runner".  I remember feeling the best I ever have, mentally and physically.  My workouts, however, came to a stop when I pulled a hamstring, and ever since the

Did you know that cows regurgitate grass in the form of cud, "a bolus of semi-digested food"?  Then they eat up that cud and chew on it for hours, breaking it down into smaller pieces so it can be fully digested.  Why am I talking about cows and their digestive systems?  Dr. ILardi, author the The Depression Cure, uses the cows digestive process, which is also known as rumination, as a metaphor for how us humans ruminate on thoughts.  We chew on them for hours.  Eh, let me rephrase that.  Most people dwell on something maybe 5-10 minutes, find some clarity in the situation or if none, move on. Depressed people, however, think about things for hours, mostly negative thoughts and then break down and have what I call "a bad day".  I have had way too many "bad days" for me to count, but my mother can vouch, as she is the one I call when I can't pick myself back up. When a person mulls over things "way past the point when enough is enough", sever

Thank you for the feedback to those who wrote to me about my last blog.  I received a lot of emails, phone calls, and support from friends and family and I just love that you are all behind me.  I had only planned on talking about my experience with the program, if I feel better, or worse, etc... but the more I read, and from comments by you, I want to share a little bit more.  I want to share what is getting me excited, what is giving me hope, the clinical research that Dr. Stephen Ilardi reports, because I think it is important.  Knowledge is power and the more you know, the better you can take care of yourself and your health.  I am not getting my hopes up, or putting any expectation into this program, but when I get excited about something, I just have to share it with all of you. According to The Depression Cure by Stephen S. Ilardi, PhD, there are 6 steps in his program to beat depression without using drugs.  They are: Dietary omega-3 fatty acids Engaging activity Physica

A little over three years ago, I was sitting in a cafe in Turkey with my then-boyfriend, Hans-Eric, and I had my first big anxiety attack.  The cafe had a view of the sea that I will never forget.  It was a beautiful day, a calm turquoise blue ocean, and I remember sitting there, trying so hard to pretend everything was okay.  "Just focus on the horizon, look at the sea, just breathe."  I didn't want Hans-Eric to see me freaking out.  I was like a duck on water, calm and collective on the outside, but scared and paddling like hell underneath it all.  The day before I woke up anxious, Hans-Eric and I were happy.  We were on vacation in Turkey for a wedding of one of Han's colleagues.  It was also the same week as his 30th birthday.  I remember walking through town with him, holding his hand, looking at silly tourist items, and saying no to the pushy vendors.  We came upon a window display of gorgeous rings, and he asked me which one I liked the best.  I took this as a